My Old Self

For a long time now (we're talking a couple months...at least), I've felt the way on the inside that poor sick Ava looks on the outside.  I've been crabby, tired, moody, lazy and outright not nice to my poor husband at times.  I was nit picking at everything and worrying about things that just don't matter.  For those who know me, I'm generally a go with the flow, low maintenance kind of gal.  It was getting to the point where I couldn't stand to be with myself.  That was my normal.  I had been in that funk for so long that I started to think that's who I was all the time.  I was so used to being crabby that I couldn't remember what the old me used to be like and maybe she was just gone.  I didn't want to think that but that's where my head was at the time...she's gone.

Luckily, the past day or so I've had more energy, played more with Ava and our sweet bun, Simon.  I've planned meals and found new recipes to try.  Thought of tons of things that I have to make/sew for Ava and the new little guy.  Gotten tons of baby gear cleaned and ready to go and it feels so good.  I'm not that moody mom I thought I was.  It's just those darn hormones and being ridiculously pregnant.  I am so happy to have a glimpse of my old self that I don't care if she's not all the way back just yet.  I know in time she'll be back to stay and for that I'm thankful.